Finally, 2020 is here and you are happy you made it. And If you are like most Nigerians, you have written your goals for 2020 and it’s possible that one of them is having a better relationship. Not bad.
“Love is a beautiful thing”, so they say. But the truth is that love has not been beautiful for everyone. In fact, there are people out there who have tried love, today they have given up. Worse yet, they are struggling to get over the terrible experience they had from love.
Still, there are those who are beneficiaries of love. Is it safe to say that love is like gambling? Maybe it is, maybe not. Or should I say that love is risky? Of course, everything in life is risky, it all depends on your perspective.
Yet, the story of Romeo and Juliet remains the most fascinating love story I have read. The story will make you think that love is life and that you should give everything for it including your life if the situation demands.
Love, in my opinion, is beautiful. I refuse to only look at the terrible experiences I have had. One of the things mom and dad and even my teachers did not tell me is that heartbreak is inevitable. Maybe someday I will write about my love life, but let me focus on what you need to consider as a Nigerian guy before getting a girlfriend in 2020.
I believe that every young man should have a vision, should be working on his goals at all times, should constantly develop himself to be better. And to achieve these, most times, you have to remain focused, and a girlfriend might be your biggest distraction. So you have to decide between keeping a girlfriend and your goals.
I believe that a girlfriend is just a necessary distraction if you are not ready for marriage.
Though they are exceptions. Personally, have some female friends who have been great supporters and i appreciate them.
Except you are sure that you can manage the distractions from a girlfriend and it won’t affect your goals, please stay away from a relationship.
I’m sure you know that being a boyfriend in Nigeria is more expensive than being a father. It’s sad that many of our sisters are needy and parasitic.
Many of them are not looking for a boyfriend, rather, they are looking for someone who will solve their money problem. I live in a city where a jobless girl who is supposed to look for a job or start a business is praying and looking for a rich boyfriend or husband. And when she meets a guy, she shifts all her financial problems to him.
I’m not saying that they are no ladies who are financially independent, they are, and they can support you financially, but it’s not common.
To be on a safer side especially if you are still building your business or career, it’s only smart to avoid unnecessary financial burdens.
If you ask a typical Nigerian girl what she offers her boyfriend in a relationship, chances are she is going to say things like SEX, ADVICE, ENCOURAGEMENT, PRAYERS and the likes.
But I don’t know why women still think that it’s only men that enjoy sex. Yes, sex is a very important need, but making it look like it’s only men who enjoy it is hypocritical. Besides, sex is the cheapest thing on the street right now. And they are ladies who are looking for guys to even pay for sex.
Another thing they say they give their boyfriend is advice. This one gets me really sad. Most of these girls who claim they give advice to their boyfriend do not know anything.
Me, for example, if I want advice on leadership, I reach out to a leadership expert, if I want advice on sales, I reach out to sales professional, if it’s finance, I consult a financial expert. And if it’s to get ideas, brainstorm or strategize, I involve strategists and analytical thinkers. These guys are men and women who have build capacity and they have results to show.
So what kind of advice will i get from a girlfriend who probably does not know anything besides Big Brother Naija updates, ZEE World, Telemundo and those “mad o” kind of things?
Yes, they are awesome ladies. Some of which i get ideas from, talk to before working my projects, brainstorm with, and more. My kind of girl is intelligent, well informed and is committed to continuous self-development.
PRAYERS? If she is offering sex, that’s a sin, right? And God does not answer prayers of sinners. So what’s the need of praying?
This is the one that scares many of us is the most. For someone like me who does not like to show emotions for fear of being taken for granted and by extension get stressed emotionally, emotional commitment is a big deal.
Some girls think it’s about sticking to one girl or being loyal and faithful, no. Our physical, mental, emotional and psychological beings are involved. And some girls will police you like it’s Sowore and DSS- they won’t give you breathing space, they get unnecessarily jealous and, they complain like Wike in his trending video. Some girlfriends no get chill at all.
For me, peace of mind is everything. So brothers, if you meet the one that gives you peace, please treat her like a queen because they are not many in Nigeria.
I have already mentioned that one of the things my dad and mom and my teachers did not tell me is that heartbreak is inevitable in a relationship.
They have made us think that men don’t cry, but when heartbreak came, I suddenly remembered that even Jesus cried on the cross. It’s not a good experience at all.
So, if you are going into a relationship, be ready for heartbreak. Daughter of Zion can just wake up one day and tell you that she is from Imo and you are from Ebonyi that her mom wants her to marry a real Igbo man from Anambra, Abia or Imo. Or one Yahoo boy can just buy her the latest iPhone and you are history in her life.
I don’t need to remind you to hustle. Las las if you no get money, babe go just decamp like a Nigerian politician and even if you cry River Niger, she won’t look your face.
You might not agree with me, but 80% of relationships issues are financially related.
My brother, money answereth all things, let nobody lie to you.
Do you know that Bible passage that says, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and its righteousness and everything other things shall be added unto you”? Well, some girls have changed it to ” Get Thee first Plenty money and you shall get everything you want even as a boyfriend”. Mad o!
Needless to say, that love is not for broke people. Some of us are single simply because we don’t have money. Not every girl can be patient with you when you are broke.
Before you get a girlfriend in 2020, get money, get money, get money, get plenty of money.
Though there are beautiful thing about a girlfriend like having someone to talk to, a prayer partner( for godly relationship), someone to think with, and lots more, depending on what you want.
It could be that you need to build capacity this year and push yourself more.
It could be that you need to just remain focused this year.
It’s 2020, do you want a girlfriend or you want to achieve your goals?