One of my fears when it comes to marriage is marrying someone who will bring the parachronistic and stereotypical parenting that has done nothing to advance humanity other than provide a safe abode for rape, patriarchy and the likes to flourish even when every pointer shows we need to persuasively dismiss them and be more liberal and licentious.
Sadly, we are doing the same thing and expecting different results.
Why do we teach our daughters to be respectful, prepare them to be great wives meanwhile we can’t even teach our sons to be good brothers to their sisters?
Why do we teach the girls how to care for the family but we don’t teach our boys how to care for themselves?
WHY?
Well, I wouldn’t want a wife who will constantly tell my daughter that she’s a woman.
I wouldn’t want a wife that ‘ll not just correct my daughter when she makes mistake at home but habitually tells her how she needs to do better so she will do well in her husband house as if she was designed to just be a good wife, give birth to children and take care of the family.
Marriage is good, but the way our parents make our sisters see marriage as the ultimate goal in life is saddening.
I’ll personally make my daughter know she can achieve even more than her brothers if she works for it.
I will also teach my boys that women are not sex objects but are wonderfully and fearfully made just like men.
We cannot address an issue like rape by focusing on the girl child alone.
9 out of 10 boys in Nigeria never had any conversation about sex or rape with their parents.
Even the don’t- let boys touch you talk is often one-sided. The boy child doesn’t get told he will impregnate a girl if he touches her.
I’m grateful to my mom.
During my senior high school days, all the boys I walked home from school with smoked weed.
At some point, dad concluded I was smoking, but to date, even a stick of cigarette has not touched my lips. That’s because mom sat me down and told me how those who smoke are seeing as touts, often get arrested, die young, etc.
In my family, cooking is seeing as a survival skill and not a woman thing, and today, I make the best afang soup in Nigeria ( argue with your coronavirus status).
Without mom, I would have been a terrible man. Though we never discussed sex or rape, the values she passed on to me made the difference.
We can fight rape with education starting with parents educating their boys and girls child alike. If I have my way, I will make laws that permit only people who have completed a one-year compulsory training on parenting taught by mostly feminists to have children.
we need to train our boys too.
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