Three things that will help you to land a great partner
Since last week, I have had many conversations with many single people concerning their inability to find partners for long-term relationships that can lead to marriage. During these conversations, I often tell them the steps I took when I was single and actively searching. As a single young man actively searching, I reached out to an older mentor whose marriage I admired. And he tutored me on some steps he believed a single person searching for a worthwhile relationship should take. I did, and within a short period, I found my wife.
The steps I took are as follows:
Preparation: The preparation stage is the most important. In this stage, you are mentally, emotionally and financially ready to get into a relationship that can lead to marriage. It is also the stage where you work on yourself and define your core values. It is also the stage where you decide the kind of person you want in your life for commitment purposes. The preparatory phase needs an intense focus on oneself. You must prune from yourself the habits that are inimical to the kind of relationship you want. It is where you ask the significant question: would the partner I need accept me like this? If not, keep working on yourself. And you must be honest with that question.
This phase is also where you heal from any trauma that has plagued you from childhood. You must be bold enough to be true to yourself, face these demons and confront them. There is no going back here.
One of the problems I have noticed with some singles is that they do not prepare for the kind of relationship they want. They often think their partners will find them like the fairytale stories and a blissful relationship will begin. While this happens, the chances are always slim. Another problem is that they also go into relationships with the baggage of their past. No wonder they have always jumped out as fast as they jumped in.
You must be intentional about what you need. You must work on yourself for the journey ahead. Learn to cook, make a home, provide for your partner, be emotionally available and, above all, communicate. Learn.
The preparatory phase is necessary so that when the partner you need meets you, you will be what they need – just like Adam said when he met Eve – this is the bone of my bone. It’s a travesty to meet a partner that checks all your boxes but finds out that you don’t do the same to them. Prepare.
Position: After preparing, you must position yourself. There is no use preparing for a journey without embarking on it. Position yourself by going to where you will meet the kind of partner that you want. Attend functions that suit your person, join clubs and associations, talk to your friends about your desire and ask them for referrals, respond to messages and keep your DMs/inbox open. On social media, be polite, comment on posts and show brilliance. Also, sell yourself in places where other singles are. Have a life outside your job.
Some people find this phase difficult. But I tell them that it is easy if they are well prepared. During positioning, your preparatory phase will help you and act as a guide. Your values will help you filter the places to go and the kind of persons you allow into your space. It is why the preparatory phase is of utmost importance.
Position yourself. Let go of that shyness. In business, positioning is a huge part of business strategy. Use it effectively.
Pray: As you have positioned and now talking to a partner, you must learn to pray. As a Christian, I prayed when I found my wife. Prayer is fundamental to my faith.
Prayer helps you to intensify your awareness level, get help from heaven and open your eyes to understanding. It is also during prayers that you get a conviction from God.
A relationship that leads to a marriage must be followed up with an intense conversation with God. This is my belief.
After you have passed this phase and got conviction, you can then jump into the next phase.
That phase is coming soon.
PS: It’s a crime to read alone; share with other singles
Written by Richard Chilee