Some helpful tips for visiting your partner’s parents:
1. Don’t go empty handed. Always buy something as a gift. No matter how small; bread, banana, bottle of wine, etc.
Ask your partner what his or her parents would like, and buy it along as a gift. Don’t just show up like you don’t have good home training.
It’s not your duty to care whether they want the gift or not, it your duty to show them honour.
2. Eat well from your house or hotel before going over.
Sometimes In your inlaws house food is nit served early, eat in your house before you go and behave like a witch in your inlaws house. These parents are practicing all manner of wife and husband material tests this days, be wise.
Don’t go over and start buying gala and biscuit when your mother Inlaw is making food for everyone. Eat well before coming.
3. Leave their home early. I mean leave early.
Let them see that you have standards, and that you are disciplined.
Don’t stay until the night covers. Even if you are used to staying out till 12am in your own house, when visiting your inlaws leave on time.
Don’t wait for them to ask if you’re sleeping over because you have removed your shoes and become too comfortable.
Be wise, these first impressions are very important. Next time you can ask for a pillow if you wish.
4. Don’t decline whatever is being offered; water, a drink, food, snacks, etc. Even if you don’t eat those things, collect them first as a sign of honour and gratitude, then respectfully call your partner aside and tell them you don’t eat this( allergies and likes are something your partner should know before time if really two of you are serious about marriage), or humbly tell your future inlaws about your allergies and suggest to have something else.
Don’t turn down whatever is offered and speak big grammar.
And don’t assume your inlaws should know what you eat and what you don’t eat, your partner should have done the underground work before you come over.
5. Don’t eat like someone is chasing you. Employ some good table manners and etiquette.
You don’t start breaking chicken bones with cutlass because you want to show that you are a glutton. Eat and drink with prestige.
When offered more food, learn to kill your long throat and say you’re full.
6. FEEL AT HOME is does not mean you should turn on the TV or change the channel.
Learn this things please. Feel at home does not mean you should go into the kitchen and dish food.
Feel at home you have gone to the fridge to open wine. 藍藍藍 Strong village people.
7. Dress well, Man and woman of God. Dress well.
“This is who I am” should end in your village and bedroom.
You are coming to another man’s family with different culture and belief system different from yours. They are not meant to honour your culture and value, they are not the ones coming to your house. You are to honour theirs by making a suitable appearance.
Cover your hair if they are strong on that in the family.
Avoid trousers if they have an opinion about such things. Cover your chest and appear like a decent gentleman.
I repeat, keep your BEING REAL in your house, you are not the one buying fuel for their generator.
Remove your nose ring and leg chains if your partner has told you it will raise eyebrows.
I know you are about to say that’s like pretending. Well, that’s your concern.
If their son or daughter after seing your madness still decided its you he or she wants to marry, that’s the most important thing. When you are married you can wear your trousers and dog chains if your spouse allows it, that’s your home.
But when you go visit anyone, you simply respect their culture and beliefs, thats all.
So ask your partner very well, how you should appear and all that. Your partner Is already In love with who you are, and has made up their mind about you, putting up a good appearing before your parents is to simply avoid complicating simple matters.
May God give you understanding.
8. DO NOT TRY TO IMPRESS HIS OR HER PARENTS BY ALL MEANS.
If they don’t call your name in the conversation remain cool and mind your business.
If they don’t call you to the kitchen keep your cool and mind your business.
Best you can do is to simply ask if you can help.
Don’t remove shirt and rush to turn Eba, or collect mortar.
Many of these things are often misinterpreted are desperation by our inlaws.
Keep a good countenance, let your expression be accessible, such that one can nicely ask you to come hold the door or set the table.
Let your partner be your driver in that house. He or she should be signalling you on what to do and where to come in. Don’t jump into places you are not called.
I repeat, let your language be “can I help with anything?” “How can I help?”
Then keep your cool.
Every model family knows you are a guest, and should treat you as such.
9. Be Helpful …MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
One time I visited my inlaws, it wasn’t the first time though, and we were married then.
I noticed my father inlaws stepping out to clear the small grass infront of the house. I followed him behind to collect the cutlass but he rejected. He didn’t call me, I used my common sense.
He cannot be doing that and I’m sitting inside watching TV. Whether he was testing me or not did not matter to me, know why? Because I can NEVER sit infront of the TV and let my dad clear the grass infront of the house. It’s simple home training. The same manners I would apply in my house was the same I applied with my inlaws.
He never gave me the cutlass, he insisted on doing it himself.
What I did? I stood there engaging him in conversations while he cleared, then I would gather some of the grass to the burning point.
Simple, I kept him company. And I enjoyed it.
I’m sharing this because you might be asking if my inlaw is sweeping the house should I collect the broom? Yes! If your mother was sweeping do you cross your legs?
Offer to help, and let her decision be final.
If she says yes then good. If she insist on doing it herself it’s also good, but don’t feel comfortable going back to the movie you were watching, just keep an eye on her sweeping and help with moving the table, etc.
Some of you even have mind, you will carry your legs up for your mother inlaw to sweep under. You don’t fear God at all.
10. Don’t go to your inlaws the first time and start showing you have money.
Everything you want to order, you want to pay, you want to give.
Relax, they don’t behave like that.
Some parents might not see your good heart, that’s if it’s good and you’re not just trying to show up to impress.
Some parents will misinterprete it to be mocking their family.
Imagine you giving them money to buy a basket of garri when you just overhead someone saying there is no garri. That’s disrespectful to their family.
Nobody sent you to go there and buy them a bag of garri. If it’s your 4th time we can understand, you are a part of the family now, not on your first few visits.
Don’t go splashing money! I warn you now! Before they turn you to PALMPAY!
If you know this series has really blessed you and you would want me to teach like this more frequently do let me know in the comments.
By the way I hope you know this is a Masterclass series where people pay in thousands to be a part of, but I’m giving out priceless nuggets out here for free.
I only hope you are learning to apply, because making sure you get it right in your marriage is our biggest gain, my wife VOICE of A Goodwoman and I.
If you have questions not captured here, or if you need clarity concerning any relationship and marriage concerns you might have. Kindly book a private counseling appointment lets go over those issues in detail.
Please message Debbie, she can help you set up a session with me. It’s virtual, so you need not worry about location.
Forgive all typos on all the tips shared, I was typing really fast so as not to keep you waiting. I’ll edit later.
I decree over you, YOUR MARRIAGE SHALL NOT FAIL IN JESUS NAME. AMEN.
Written by Allison Hyacintho